Publication of Public Legal Education, Medicine Hat College
Women's Rights for a Safer Tomorrow
This is a handbook about abuse of women. It will give you useful information about the law. It is for women who are being abused by a husband or boyfriend.
You may have many questions about your rights. You may have questions about money or emotional matters. Or you may want to know about your legal rights. There are places where you can get answers.
It is not always easy to find out what the law says. It is hard to make a decision and take action without information. You may want to know:
If you need information because you are being beaten or abused by your husband or boyfriend, please read this handbook. It will give you a basic idea about what the law says about your rights. If you need more information, talk to a lawyer.
Public Legal Education, Medicine Hat College, works in co-operation with the Community Education Department to deliver information on the law to the community. Public Legal Education receives funding and in-kind support from the Alberta Law Foundation and Medicine Hat College.
This handbook does not contain a complete statement of the law as it relates to abused women. The materials in the Handbook are not intended as a substitute for legal advice. For that reason, and because laws are subject to change, an abused woman who needs advice about her particular situation should consult a lawyer.
We would like to thank all those individuals who played such an instrumental role in the production of the Handbook. In particular, we would like to mention the contribution of the Alberta Law Foundation, Medicine Hat Legal Profession, Medicine Hat College, Medicine Hat Police Association, Medicine Hat Women's Shelter, and Victim's Assistance.
We also wish to acknowledge the contribution of the Alberta Law Foundation, The Give the Gift of Literacy in the production of this Handbook.
Published by:
Public Legal Education
Medicine Hat College
299 College Drive S.E.
Medicine Hat, Alberta T1A 3Y6
Canada
Graphic Design:
GhostWriter Publication
ISBN: 1-895839-70-X
Home is not always a safe place. For some women it is violent and terrifying. Every year in Canada at least one woman in ten is abused by her husband or boyfriend.
Statistics show that twenty percent (20%) of all Canadian murders involve one spouse killing the other. Most of the victims are women. Fifty-two percent (52%) of all female murder victims are killed in a home setting. Forty percent (40%) of wife assaults begin when the woman is pregnant.
Abuse can be financial, mental, sexual, or physical.
"Abuse is Wrong"
Financial Abuse
A husband or boyfriend may insist on controlling all the household money to make you more dependent on him.
He might make you beg for money. This is known as financial abuse.
Mental Cruelty
Mental cruelty is abuse too. Constant insults about the way you dress, talk, or look is mental abuse. Sometimes, mental abuse is more serious. An abusive man may threaten to hurt or kill you or your children, members of your family, or pets. He may destroy property belonging to you or threaten to damage your belongings.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can happen in a marriage. He might force you to have sex when you don't want to. He might make you do things or say things you don't want to do. You can say "NO!".
Physical Abuse
"Wife battering" and "wife assault" is when physical assault, violence or injury is involved. Physical abuse can involve pinching, slapping, pushing, punching, kicking, scalding or burning. Sometimes women are even stabbed or shot. Physical abuse is a crime.
This handbook will focus on the kinds of "abuse of women" that are criminal in nature.
What Are the Warning Signs?
You might blame yourself for the way your husband or boyfriend treats you. You may not even admit that your husband or boyfriend is abusing you. But, sometimes there are warning signs that abuse is happening.
If you can answer "yes" to some of these questions, you may be involved with an abusive man:
No one has a right to abuse you!
People may not understand why you stay in the abusive situation. There are many reasons why. You may not want to admit to anyone that your husband or boyfriend is hurting you. The abuser may be someone you love. He may support the family or be the father of your children.
Certain situations may trigger the violence. You may tend to blame yourself... "If only I had not burned the supper. If only I had not bought a dress with a short hemline. If only ..."
Why does he blame me?
The abuser may blame you too. He may think you caused his jealousy or anger. Abusers usually blame somebody else for their acts. Often they drink and blame their violence on alcohol. They may feel pressured at work and think they can take it out on women. They may believe that women are not equal to men and that men have the right to discipline you. They almost always have an excuse for their actions.
Why does it happen again and again?
Sometimes he feels bad. He says he is sorry and you accept. You believe things will change. Life seems to get better. Tension builds. The next time it happens, the abuse seems worse. Frightened and angry, you leave. Again, he apologizes and you go back. Almost all abused women go back at least once.
When he is not beating you, he may be very loving and caring. But each time you return the abuse may get worse. It happens more often. You may feel trapped and alone.
Am I the only woman going through this?
You may feel you are the only person in the world who is beaten or humiliated by your husband or boyfriend. You may be too afraid or too ashamed to even tell your friends or get help. You may be especially afraid if you have tried to leave before. Your fear gives him the power to control you.
"They almost always have an excuse."
You have three choices
1. Accept the relationship and live with it.
2. Stay in the relationship and try to make changes.
3. Leave the relationship and get on with life.
Choice #1: Accept the Relationship
You may stay in an abusive relationship. Out of love or fear, money concerns or other reasons, you give in to your husband or boyfriend. You learn to live with the violent or abusive relationship.
What should I be prepared for?
Living with abuse is a dangerous choice. If you choose to stay, there are a few things that you should know:
What about the children?
Children living in abusive situations may be emotionally or physically abused themselves. Children who see their father abuse their mother are often anxious and confused. They may even lose respect for their mother.
Boys often become aggressive while girls become withdrawn. Later on in life, girls may find themselves in abusive situations and boys may grow into abusive men.
What are my responsibilities?
Your children may not be victims of abuse themselves, but you must keep them safe. If you do not remove them from an abusive situation, the government (Department of Child Welfare) can take your children from your custody and put them in protective care.
Choice #2: Change the Relationship
You may decide to stay with your husband or boyfriend and try to make changes. Keep the following in mind.
Can I change him?
Just because he keeps saying "sorry" and promising he will change, does not mean he will. When you go back to him he has no more reason to change. Some men make this promise just to keep their partners.
How will I know if he is ready to change?
He must do three things before change is possible:
Will I or my children need counselling?
Yes. You will need to learn to live without abuse and how to respect yourself. Joining a support group with other women who have been abused may help you to find the strength to live your own life. Your children will need help and counselling to see that violence is the wrong way to solve problems.
What if nothing changes?
Be prepared. Change will not happen overnight. It takes a long time. Remember, the situation might even become violent again. You should be prepared for this possibility. Know your rights and plan an escape route.
"Plan an escape route"
Choice #3: Leave!
You have the right to live a life free of abuse. You can decide to be free of the abuse by getting out of the relationship and getting on with your life. When you do this, you will probably need legal advice.
The information in this handbook can help you to understand more about the law.
"You have the right to live a life free of abuse"
Her Story...
I got married when I was 20 years old. He was the perfect husband. He didn't start hurting me until I was pregnant. He called me "fat and disgusting". He said he was only joking. I knew he wasn't. I quit work when the baby was born. He told me I had to. He said I should be able to live on the baby allowance. I had to start sneaking his money.
I remember the first time he hit me. He was drunk. He said he was sorry the next day. I forgave him. He told me he would never hit me again. One night the baby was sick. The crying keep my husband awake. He said it was my fault the baby was crying. I should have taken better care of the baby. It happened again: he hit me!
This time I went to the hospital. Then I took the baby and moved in with Mom. He called to say he was sorry and came to pick us up.
He just hit me. It's happening again...
Leaving during a crisis is important for your survival. You should always get away from a dangerous situation. Here are some answers to questions you might have.
What can I do if my husband or boyfriend is hurting me?
You should make an escape plan. Keep an extra set of car keys and put them in a safe place. Try to have some money put away somewhere for an emergency. Know the phone numbers of the police, taxi companies and women's shelters. If your husband or boyfriend physically attacks you and you cannot get away or defend yourself, scream loudly, fall to the floor, curl yourself into a ball with your knees up and your head covered with your arms. Always think about your safety and that of your children.
Should I call the police?
Yes. If your husband or boyfriend beats you up or hurts you call the police. If you are in danger you may have to get away first and call the police from a neighbour's or friend's home.
If you are in an urban area, phone "911". If there is no "911" number, phone the police directly. If you are in a rural area, phone the RCMP.
If you are hurt, get to a hospital immediately and tell them exactly what happened. Ask them to take colour photos of your injury so that you have evidence of the assault.
Should I report threats?
You should also call the police if your husband or boyfriend is threatening to throw you out of the house, beat you up, or kill you or your children. Threatening to hurt or kill somebody is a form of assault and it is against the law.
The law cannot solve family problems, but it does give some help when your husband or boyfriend is violent. Until you report such violence to the police, the law cannot help.
When should I call the police?
If you are assaulted by your husband or boyfriend you should call the police as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the more difficult it is to investigate a crime. The sooner you report an assault to the police, the easier it is for them to collect the evidence needed to prove a charge.
I have nowhere to go. How can I leave?
Getting away from violence may be easier said than done. You may be afraid. You may have no money, no vehicle, and no one to turn to for support.
Help is available. A number of services and support agencies can help you. For more information about these, see Section VII of this handbook.
Where can I go?
When you do decide to leave, you will probably need help for awhile. You may need a safe place to sleep and eat, while you decide what to do. You and your children can go to a friend's place, to the home of a family member, or to a transition house or emergency shelter. Staff at the shelter can help you through a time of crisis.
Are shelters free?
Transition houses and emergency shelters are free of charge. Go there and stay for awhile to think about what you are going to do. If you can, try to take a few of your children's favorite toys and blankets. If possible, take some money and I.D. for yourself and the children and some of your own clothes and toiletries.
If you have to leave in a hurry, don't worry. Shelters have a temporary supply of clothes and articles like diapers, toothpaste and toys, that you and your children may need. Worry about who will feed the dog and other concerns once you get to safety. The staff at the transition house may be able to help you go back to your home to retrieve your belongings when it is safe, for example, in the company of a police officer.
What if the shelter is full?
If the transition house is full and you have no where to stay contact the Department of Family and Social Services. As an abused woman, you may be able to get help to pay for accommodation at a hotel and basic living expenses.
What about my children?
You are responsible for the safety of your children. You must take your children away from a clearly established situation of family violence. If you do not, child protection officials from the Department of Social Services have the right to take them away from you and put them in protective care.
When you decide to leave your abusive relationship, you may have many questions about your legal rights. Following are answers to some common questions.
Can I get him to leave the house? Or will I have to leave?
You will not be forced to leave, but you cannot make your husband or boyfriend leave the home unless you have a court order. For help in getting a court order, you should contact a lawyer who practices family law.
If you are legally married or living together in a common-law relationship, and if you are seeking financial support for yourself or your child, you may be able to stay in the house or apartment where you lived with your husband or boyfriend.
If you have filed for divorce, your lawyer can file an application in court requesting that you be given an order for exclusive possession of the marital home. This kind of hearing is held before the Court of Queen's Bench, Family Division.
In rare cases, an order for support can require that payments be made to cover the mortgage and cost of repairs to the marital home and that household goods remain in the home.
How will the court decide whether to give me exclusive possession?
The court will consider such things as:
What does 'exclusive posession' mean?
Exclusive possession is not common. When the court decides to give one person exclusive possession it does not mean that he or she has outright ownership of the home. The order for exclusive possession is good for as long as the court directs, but eventually the house may have to be sold and the proceeds divided, unless the court orders otherwise.
If the court gives me exclusive possession of the home, will my husband or boyfriend have to stay away from me?
An order for exclusive possession keeps your husband or boyfriend away from you only when you are in the home. It does not stop him from contacting you by phone or by any other means outside the house. Sometimes a restraining order or a peace bond is used to keep your husband or boyfriend from contacting you and your children both inside and outside the home.
If I leave, I am afraid he will keep bothering me. What can I do?
If you are legally married but are separated, and your husband is harassing you or your children, you can stop him by getting a restraining order. It is an order for your spouse not to annoy, molest or interfere with you or your children.
To get a restraining order, you will need a lawyer to make an application to the Court of Queen's Bench. The court may limit or prevent your spouse from having access to your or members of your family.
Can a restraining order be enforced?
If your husband breaches the restraining order you should call the police so they may arrest him. He has disobeyed a court order.
What if I am afraid my husband or boyfriend will seriously harm me or my children?
A restraining order is not enough if you are afraid of serious injury. If you have reasonable grounds to fear that your husband or boyfriend will harm you, your children or your property, a charge or a peace bond may be appropriate.
What is a peace bond?
A peace bond is an agreement with the court. A person who enters into a recognizance must promise to keep the peace and to be of good behaviour. A peace bond may be enforced anywhere in the province and can remain in effect for up to twelve months.
The peace bond will state conditions that your husband or boyfriend must follow. For example, it may require him to keep the peace, and not see, phone, write or send you messages. It may require him to get counselling or treatment for alcoholism.
You do not need to be legally married to get a peace bond.
How do I get a peace bond?
To get a peace bond, you must go to the police. You must provide a written statement of your reasons for wanting your husband or boyfriend to enter into a peace bond. You should also think about the conditions you want in the peace bond.
How long does it take to get a peace bond?
Depending on the court schedule in your area, it may take two to thirteen (2-13) weeks for your court appearance to be booked. Your husband or boyfriend will be served a notice to appear in court.
Can I get a peace bond right away?
If your husband or boyfriend agrees to a peace bond or if the court decides there are reasonable grounds for your fear, a peace bond can be issued immediately. If your husband or boyfriend does not agree, the judge may order a hearing at a later date. In that case, you will have to appear in court to give evidence.
Do I need a lawyer to get a peace bond?
To get a peace bond, you will be represented by a Crown Prosecutor. A Crown Prosecutor is not your private lawyer, but he/she will represent your interests as a victim of crime.
Does my husband or boyfriend have to be notified that I am applying for a peace bond?
As a rule, the court requires people to be present when it is making an order that affects them. Your husband or boyfriend will be served with a summons to attend court. This gives him a chance to dispute your claims. If he does not show up, the court can issue a warrant for his arrest or make a peace bond order without him.
Am I allowed to see him after I get a peace bond?
If you want to see the person after a peace bond has been ordered, talk to the police or the Crown Prosecutor. Ask that the peace bond be changed to allow the person to respond if you contact him. Do not ask the person to see you unless the peace bond has been changed or has run out.
What should I do if my husband or boyfriend breaks the conditions of the peace bond?
Call the police and tell them if any condition is broken. Breaking a peace bond is a criminal offence. If you do not ask the police to take action, the peace bond is useless. The police will swear an information before a judge. You will not have to swear the information yourself as you did when you first requested the peace bond.
Will my husband or boyfriend have a criminal record if I get a peace bond?
As long as your husband or boyfriend co-operates with the peace bond and its conditions, he will not have a criminal record. But if he is convicted for breaking a peace bond he will have a criminal record.
Do peace bonds work?
Peace bonds can be useful but they are not a perfect solution. Having a peace bond may discourage your husband or boyfriend from further threats or assaults. A peace bond gives you the benefit of a court order for your protection. If your husband or boyfriend tries to hurt you, your children or your property, the police can arrest him.
What are the disadvantages of a peace bond?
Your husband or boyfriend may break the peace bond even though doing so will give him a criminal record. He may ignore it altogether, or may even try to harm you while you are waiting to get a peace bond.
Some other disadvantages of peace bonds include:
Will it cost me anything to get a restraining order or a peace bond?
No, there are no charges for obtaining a peace bond or restraining order, as long as you obtain the order on your own.
If you seek the services of a private lawyer, the cost will depend on the lawyer's hourly fee. If money is a problem, ask about Legal Aid Assistance.
How can I get a restraining order or peace bond on my own?
Contact the Victim's Assistance or the police in your area and they will let you know what you need to do.
He just beat me up again. Should I get a peace bond?
A peace bond is only to help prevent your husband or boyfriend from harming you. If you have been assaulted by your husband or boyfriend, a peace bond is not the solution. Instead, you should charge him with assault.
I just want him out of the house until he calms down or sobers up. Can the police take him away somewhere?
The police cannot just take somebody away and lock that person up without a reason. To detain a person, the police have to arrest him or her. Before arresting a person, the police must believe -- on reasonable and probable grounds -- that he or she committed an offence.
If I call the police because my husband or boyfriend beats me, will they take it seriously?
If your husband or boyfriend threatens you or physically harms you, that is assault. It does not matter where the assault takes place or who the people are. Assault is against the law. The police can lay charges wherever assault occurs and evidence is available to support the charge.
What if people don't listen to me?
Everyone in the legal system has been instructed to take assaults between partners and family members as seriously as assaults between strangers. If you feel the police or the courts are not listening to you, do not give up. You may find help through victim services or women's shelters.
What if my husband or boyfriend will not let the police into the house?
When the police arrive they will ask for permission to enter the house. If permission to enter is not granted, the officer will explain that he or she must make sure there is no serious problem inside.
If the officer believes, on reasonable grounds, that it is in the public interest to enter your home to prevent an offence, then the officer may enter the house by force. Reasonable grounds may include hearing cries for help or seeing a weapon.
It is up to you to let the police know that you are in trouble.
What will the police do?
The police will investigate what happened and write a report about it. They will ask you for a statement, which they will put in writing and have you read and sign. This statement is the record of your complaint.
What will the police want to know?
The police will want to know exactly what happened. Tell them:
Will the police arrest my husband or boyfriend?
The police will assess the situation before they arrest or release your husband or boyfriend. They will arrest and charge him if they have reasonable and probable grounds to believe that an assault has taken place, or will take place.
What factors will the police consider?
The police will consider the following:
Will I have to press charges?
If your husband or boyfriend was harming you physically or threatening to do so, he was committing a crime. It is up to the police to press charges if they have witnessed a crime, or have reasonable and probable grounds to believe that a crime has taken place.
Tell the police you want them to press charges. The police will consider all the evidence they gather before they charge someone with a criminal offence.
What sort of charges might be laid?
There is no such charge as wife battering. If the police charge your husband or boyfriend, they may choose from a number of offences listed in the Criminal Code.
Your husband or boyfriend might be charged with assault. That is the intentional use of force against another person without his or her consent.
The Criminal Code lists various types of assault, including:
Might he be charged with sexual assault?
If the assault involved circumstances which were sexual in nature, the police might charge your husband or boyfriend with sexual assault.
What happens after charges are laid?
Before going ahead with a prosecution, the police will talk to the Crown Prosecutor. He or she will review the evidence to see if it is sufficient to support a charge. If so, a Crown Prosecutor will be in charge of the case. At that point, the matter is out of your hands.
What are the penalties?
The penalties for assault and sexual assault depend on how serious the assault was, the kind of assault, and whether the offender has previously been convicted of assault. In some cases the police might even charge a person with attempted murder.
How long can the police keep somebody in jail?
If your husband or boyfriend is accused of assaulting you and he is arrested, he may be kept in jail until a first court appearance. This usually takes place within hours.
After the first appearance, the court decides if your partner will be kept in jail. He will be let out unless the court believes there are very good reasons to keep him in jail. The police do not have to tell you when he is being released, but you can get this information from the police or Victim's Assistance.
I am afraid about my safety if the police let him out of jail. What should I do?
If your husband or boyfriend is arrested and you are afraid for your safety, or if you think he might try to leave the province, tell the police. If the court has reason to believe he might commit another offence or flee, they may set conditions on his release, such as bail.
What is a no contact order?
The court may make a no contact order telling the accused to stay away from you. If the accused bothers you in any way or tries to contact you, call the police. He has violated a court order and the police will arrest him. The court may then change the conditions of release.
What if I do not want the police to lay a charge?
Abused women often have doubts about laying charges or about going ahead with court proceedings. Although the prosecutor will listen to your reasons, you will not have the final say. If there is enough evidence, if the offence was serious, or if it appears that you have changed your mind out of fear, the prosecutor may start or continue with proceedings against your wishes.
In some cases, there may be a very good reason for the matter not to proceed. However, you will be asked to give the police a written statement explaining your reasons or appear in court and make an oral statement for the record.
Will I have to go to court?
If your husband or boyfriend pleads guilty to a charge, like assault, there is usually no need for the victim or witnesses to be present in court. If your husband or boyfriend pleads not guilty, then there will be a court trial to determine guilt.
As the victim, you will be served with a summons from the court requiring you to attend as a Crown witness. If you receive a summons and the accused pressures you to stop proceedings, you can explain that you do not have a choice in the matter. It is out of your control.
What should I know about going to court?
The prosecutor will tell you about services to help you through the court proceedings. If you fail to appear as a witness, a warrant may be issued for your arrest. If you refuse to give evidence or if you lie in court, you may be arrested and charged with a crime.
Do I have to testify?
If your testimony is relevant to the charge before the court, the court will call you as a witness. You may not give evidence in writing. As the victim, you may be the most important witness that the Crown has to prove the case against the accused.
According to the Canada Evidence Act, a wife required to give evidence against her husband for crimes against her person.
What if I refuse to testify?
If you refuse to testify, you may be found in contempt of court. This is a very serious matter. It could mean that you could be jailed and the accused could walk away free.
Most forms of abuse against women are a criminal offence and must be dealt with seriously. If you do not co-operate with the court, the offender may not be convicted.
What if somebody threatens to hurt me if I testify?
Threatening a witness is a serious criminal offence. It is just as serious to try to bribe a witness into changing his or her story. If somebody threatens you or tries to bribe you, call the police or tell the Crown Prosecutor right away. If you feel you are in real danger of bodily harm call the police.
Will my children have to testify?
Your children would only be called as witnesses if they were eye-witnesses and there was no other way to prove the offence. As well, if the children themselves were victims of violence and/or sexual assault, they might be required to testify.
There are special requirements for child witnesses. Where the child is less than 14 years old, the court must determine that the child understands the difference between truth and lies.
If the child does not understand, he or she will not be called as a witness.
Will somebody help me prepare for court?
If you have questions about the evidence you will give in a criminal trial, the Crown Prosecutor handling your case will talk to you.
If you have questions about going to court, a victim assistance co-ordinator from Alberta Justice can help you. Some city police forces also provide special victim-witness services.
What kind of help can I get from a victim assistance co-ordinator?
The victim assistance co-ordinator can answer your questions about what will happen in court. The co-ordinator will meet with you even if you just want to talk to somebody about some of your worries.
The co-ordinator also provides other important services. For example, you can get information about crime compensation, referrals to other services, making a victim impact statement, the status of your case and so on.
What happens if he is found guilty?
If your husband or boyfriend is found guilty, he will be sentenced. The sentence he receives will vary depending on the charge and whether he has a previous criminal record. He may be sent to jail or he may be released on probation on the condition that he have no contact with you.
The type of sentence he gets should be similar to sentences in assault cases where the people involved are not related. The sentence may include mandatory offender treatment and counselling, if available.
Will I have a say in what sentence the judge gives my husband or boyfriend?
In a criminal trial, a victim should make a victim impact statement. This is a form which allows the victim to explain in her own words how the crime has affected her. Mothers sometimes fill out a form on behalf of their children who have also been victims.
Talk about victim impact statements with a Victim Assistance Co-ordinator and the Crown Prosecutor.
What should I include in my victim impact statement?
If you have reason to believe that your husband or boyfriend will harm you again make sure to say so in your victim impact statement. Or, if you wish your partner to receive mandatory counselling you should say so. Your statement is filed with the court, the Crown Prosecutor, and the defense lawyer. The judge will give it consideration in sentencing the offender.
If the police do not lay a charge, what can I do?
If the police have not been able to gather enough evidence against the accused, in consultation with the Crown Prosecutor, they may decide not to lay a charge.
However, you do have the right to lay a charge yourself. You can do this by going to a provincial court judge and giving your information in writing and under oath. You should contact a lawyer to discuss such an action, which is called a private prosecution. Where the action is justified, the Crown may allow the private prosecution to go ahead or it may take charge of the prosecution itself.
Can I get compensation for injuries I suffered when my husband or boyfriend assaulted me?
The Criminal Injuries Compensation Board helps people who are victims of violent crimes. Monetary compensation may be available for:
Please be aware that compensation may be available in the form of counseling for the you and your family.
Can I get compensation for damage to my personal belongings or property?
Sometimes the court will order an offender to pay restitution. In that case, the offender would be required to compensate you for damage to property, etc.
If you want restitution in a criminal case, you should talk to the Crown Prosecutor in the case. If the restitution order is made in a criminal case, you will not have to pay for legal proceedings. This will save you the expense of taking civil action later.
What if restitution is not ordered?
Usually, you have to sue the offender in a civil action in order to get compensation for damage to property. You will probably need to hire a lawyer. If you win the case, you may be awarded an amount of money as damages. Nobody goes to jail. However, it is an expensive process and you will have to collect the damages from your former husband or boyfriend which may take a long time.
Are there any other ways to get compensation?
You may also consider filing a small claim which is relatively quick and inexpensive way to seek compensation for damages to property. A small claim must be for an amount under $7,500. You may contact the Clerk's Office of the Provincial Court in your area for more information.
If I leave, will I be deserting my husband or boyfriend? Will I lose the house and my kids?
No. Everyone, including a battered woman, has the right to leave a partner at any time. You do not have to wait until you are hurt.
If you leave your husband or boyfriend because of abuse, or for any other reason, you are not legally deserting him and you do not lose any rights to custody, division of marital property or support payment for you or your children.
Can I get custody of the children?
If you and your spouse or partner cannot agree about custody of the children, you should apply for custody immediately. Custody of the children is determined by the court in the best interests of the child. The parent who has custody makes the day-to-day decisions about bringing up the child.
What if I am unable to care for my children?
If you have been in the hospital or unable to care for the children for other reasons, you can explain this to the court. You should find a family law lawyer who can explain the law to you. Even if you do agree about the custody arrangements, make sure to write it out in a formal separation agreement.
What if I am afraid that he will kidnap the children?
If you think your husband or boyfriend might want to take the children away and you don't have a custody order, you should apply immediately for a custody order. Contact the Provincial Court or the Court of Queen's Bench in your area.
Carry a certified copy of your custody order with you at all times. As well, leave a copy with officials at the school or daycare and other places where you take your children so that others are aware of the situation.
Is there anything I can do to prevent him from taking the kids out of the country?
If you think he might try to take the children out of the country before a custody hearing, call your Passport Office (External Affairs) or border crossing and ask that the childrens' names be put on a passport control list so that they will not be issued a passport.
Will my husband or boyfriend get to see the children?
If you get sole custody of the children, the father will probably be given access. The court usually feels that it is best for children to have as much contact as possible with both parents. It is very rare for the court to deny a parent access altogether unless there is strong evidence that the parent has abused the child. Access can be supervised in cases where the court does not wish to deny access altogether.
What if he harasses me?
If you are concerned about your husband harassing you when he picks up or drops off the children for visitation, you may be able to obtain a restraining order.
Your spouse may agree to an order not to harass, molest or otherwise interfere with you while he is exercising his visitation rights. If the court gives your husband access to the children, you cannot prevent him from seeing them.
If you fear for your safety or that of your children, you should talk to the Crown Prosecutor. If you are the parent who has access, and not custody, you have a right to see your children and get information about them unless the court has refused or limited visitation rights.
Can I get a divorce?
Divorce can occur in three situations: after separation for one year; in the case of adultery; or in the case of physical or mental cruelty.
What is cruelty under the law?
It is difficult to describe all of the conduct that may be considered cruelty. Most forms of abuse would qualify. Something which is not a criminal offence may still be grounds for divorce.
Generally, if one spouse causes the other physical or emotional pain so that living together becomes unbearable, the other spouse may be able to end the marriage on the basis of cruelty. Grounds of mental cruelty must be clearly proven.
What if I cannot afford a lawyer?
An abused woman in financial need should be able to get legal aid. Contact Legal Aid to make an appointment (see listings on page 49).
If you are not eligible for legal aid, a lawyer will sometimes take his or her payment from the final property settlement if there is a separation or divorce involved.
Where will I live?
When you leave an abusive home, you will need to find short-term living arrangements. Transition homes and shelters for abused women and their children provide temporary solutions. Most emergency shelters expect women to stay no longer than six weeks. You should try to find other permanent accommodation as soon as possible after you leave your husband or boyfriend.
What if I can't afford my own place?
If you are on income assistance or you cannot find affordable housing, you may qualify for government-subsidized housing. Staff at transition homes can help you contact the local Housing Authority.
Government-subsidized housing helps people on low incomes find affordable housing through various programs. Your application for subsidized housing will be assessed on a needs basis.
Do women in transition homes get priority for subsidized housing?
Abused women and their children in transition homes are often in greater need than other people because they must have a safe place to live. The Housing Authority in your city will assess the urgency of each request. Abused women may be given high priority on the waiting list for subsidized housing.
Available housing depends on the vacancy rate in your area. If no housing is available, contact the nearest Housing Authority to find out how long you might have to wait.
How will I support myself?
When you leave your home, try to take your money, documents and any valuables you own with you. If you have joint bank accounts, go to the bank and take out your share of the money. End any joint responsibility for future debt on credit cards by visiting your bank and changing your account.
If any income is normally mailed to you at your house, such as family allowance cheques, notify the sender that your address has changed. Arrange to pick up the cheques or have them sent to an address where they will be safe. If you are not employed, you may have to look for work and/or job training.
What if I do not have enough income to live on?
When you separate from your husband or boyfriend, you may have money problems. If you are unable to pay for your basic needs you should contact the local regional office of the Department of Social Services. This Department has the responsibility to provide for the basic needs of persons who are unable to do so themselves. Be sure to ask about other community agencies who can offer emergency and supportive services.
Will I get financial support from my husband?
Spouses have a duty to provide financial support for each other and their children. However, support payments usually are not claimed until the spouses separate. You may be entitled to claim spousal support, but the court will encourage you to become financially independent in a reasonable period of time.
What about child support?
Child support payments are normally made to the parent who has custody of the children. Such payments are to be used for the children's financial needs.
Will I have to go to court to get support?
It may not be necessary to go to court. Spouses can come to their own agreements about who will pay child or spousal support, and about the amount of the payments. Such an agreement should be set out in a domestic contract (signed and witnessed) and a duplicate should be filed with the court. The contract then has the same force as a court order.
If you are leaving the home because of abuse, it may not be possible to get such an agreement. In such a case, you may have to go to court.
Can I get legal help?
If you want to go straight to a divorce and apply for a division of marital property and/or a custody and access order, you may want to see a legal aid lawyer or a private lawyer.
Will he have to pay support if I go on income assistance?
If you are applying for income assistance after separating from your husband or boyfriend, a financial worker from the Department of Family and Social Services will try to help the two of you reach an agreement about support. If an agreement cannot be reached, your financial worker will arrange for an application to be made for a court order for support payments. Ask your financial worker for more information about this.
What if my husband or boyfriend does not make support payments?
If he does not make support payments, you can register with the Maintenance Enforcement Program. Contact the courts to register for this program. They will try to track him down and force him to pay.
What if my boyfriend and I were not married?
If you and your boyfriend were living together but were not married, you can make an application in Provincial Court for spousal support and/or custody or guardianship of a child. Contact the Provincial Court or a legal aid or private lawyer.
Children are always entitled to support from their parents regardless of whether the parents are married or not.
What about splitting up our property?
If you are separating from or divorcing your husband, you can apply to the court to have the marital property (the marital home, household goods, money, personal investments, pensions, automobiles, recreational vehicles, etc.) divided equally.
How will the property be split up?
This may be done in two ways. The marital property may be sold and the proceeds divided evenly, or the spouse who possesses more of the marital property may make an equalization payment to the other spouse.
The court can divide marital property unequally, if a spouse can prove to the court that the division should be unequal. The fact your husband or boyfriend abused you is not a reason for the court to divide property unequally.
What happens if we were not legally married?
The legislation concerning division of marital property does not apply to unmarried couples. An unmarried woman would have to consider other legal remedies to get a share of the property that she and her boyfriend owned.
Talk to your lawyer about your options in these circumstances.
Banff Transition House (YWCA)
P.O. Box 520, Banff, AB T0L 0C0
TEL: (403) 762-4511
FAX: (403) 762-2602
Calgary Native Women's Shelter Society
Box 6084, Calgary S. P. O., Calgary, AB T2H 2L3
TEL: (403) 531-1972 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 531-1977
Calgary Women's Emergency Shelter
P.O. Box 52051, Edmonton Trail N.E., Calgary, AB T2E 8K9
TEL: (403) 290-1552
(403) 232-8717 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 237-7728
Discovery House
P.O. Box 3516 Stn. "B", Calgary, AB T2M 4M2
TEL: (403) 277-0718
FAX: (403) 230-4759
Sheriff King Family Support Centre
2003 - 16 Street S.E., Calgary, AB T2G 5B7
TEL: (403) 266-6639
(403) 266-0707 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 262-1743
Camrose Women's Shelter
P.O. Box 1405, Camrose, AB T4V 1X3
TEL: (403) 672-1035
FAX: (403) 672-9885
Big Stone Cree Nation Women's Emergency Shelter
P.O. Box 900, Desmarais, AB T0G 0T0
TEL: (403) 891-3333
FAX: (403) 891-3918
Edmonton Women's Shelter Ltd. (W.I.N. House)
290 - 11717 42nd Street, Edmonton, AB T5W 4V8
TEL: (403) 471-6709
(403) 479-0058 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 479-8252
Lurana Shelter
P.O. Box 39030, Norwood P. O., Edmonton, AB, T5B 4T8
TEL: (403) 429-2005
(403) 424-5875 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 426-3237
W.I.N.G.S. of Providence Society
P.O. Box 266, Main P.O., Edmonton, AB T5J 2J1
TEL: (403) 426-4985
FAX: (403) 424-3625
Sucker Creek Women's Emergency Shelter
P.O. Box 231, Enilda, AB T0G 0W0
TEL: (403) 523-2929
(403) 523-4357 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 523-4940
Crossroads Resource Centre and Shelter
P.O. Box 1194, Fairview, AB T0H 1L0
TEL: (403) 835-2120 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 835-2047
Unity House
P.O. Box 6165, Fort McMurray, AB T9H 4W1
TEL: (403) 743-4691
(403) 743-1190 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 791-5560
Grande Cache Transition House Society
P.O. Box 1242, Grande Cache, AB T0E 0Y0
TEL: (403) 827-5055
FAX: (403) 827-2204
Dr. Margaret Savage Crisis Centre
P.O. Box 419, Grande Centre, AB T0A 1T0
TEL: (403) 594-5095
(403) 594-3353 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 594-7304
Odyssey House
10123 - 107 Ave. Grande Prairie, AB T8V 1M1
TEL: (403) 532-2672
FAX: (403) 532-1389
Safe Home Network Society
P.O. Box 396, High Level, AB T0H 1Z0
TEL: (403) 926-3899
FAX: (403) 926-3874
Yellowhead Emergency Shelter for Women Society
P.O. Box 6401, Hinton, AB T7V 1X7
TEL: (403) 865-4359
1-800-661-0937 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 865-7151
Hope Haven Women's Shelter
P.O. Box 2168, Lac La Biche, AB T0A 2C0
TEL: (403) 623-3104
(403) 623-3100 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 623-2094
Harbour House (YWCA)
604 - 8th Street S., Lethbridge, AB T1J 2K1
TEL: (403) 329-0088
(403) 320-1881
FAX: (403) 327-9112
Lloydminster Interval Home Society
P.O. Box 1523, Lloydminster, AB S9V 1K5
TEL: (403) 875-0966
FAX: (403) 875-0609
Medicine Hat Women's Shelter
631 Prospect Drive S.W., Medicine Hat, AB T1A 4C2
TEL: (403) 527-8223
FAX: (403) 526-0209
Eagle's Nest Stoney Shelter
P.O. Box 250, Morley, AB T0L 1N0
TEL: (403) 881-2000
FAX: (403) 881-2413
Peace River Regional Women's Shelter
7716 - 99th Street, Peace River, AB T8S 1C9
TEL: (403) 624-3466
FAX: (403) 624-1469
Central Alberta Women's Emergency Shelter
P.O. Box 561, Red Deer, AB T4N 5G1
TEL: (403) 346-5643 (collect calls accepted within region)
FAX: (403) 341-3510
Columbus House of Hope
P.O. Box 2537, St. Paul, AB T0A 3A0
TEL: (403) 645-5132
(403) 645-5195
FAX: (403) 645-1966
Strathcona Shelter Society Ltd. (A Safe Place)
P.O. Box 3282, Sherwood Park, AB T8A 2A6
TEL: (403) 464-7233
FAX: (403) 467-3511
Wheatland Communities Crisis Society
P.O. Box 2162, Strathmore, AB T1P 1K2
TEL: (403) 934-6634
FAX: (403) 934-6661
Wellspring Family Resource and Crisis Centre
P.O. Box 681, Whitecourt, AB T7S 1N7
TEL: (403) 778-6209
1-800-467-4049 (crisis/urgence)
FAX: (403) 778-2410
Child Protection
Alberta Family & Social Services / Child Welfare
Call 310-000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
1-800-638-0715 (after hours)
Child Abuse Hot Line - 24 Hour
1-800-387-KIDS (5437)
Children's Advocate
1-800-661-3446
Crisis Response Lines
Suicide/Samaritans Crisis Line (Toll Free)
1-800-667-8089 24 Hour
Medicine Hat Women's Shelter
Toll Free 1-800-661-7974 / Local 529-1091
Kid's Crisis Line (Toll Free)
1-800-668-6868
Sexual Assault Crisis (Toll Free)
1-800-552-8023
Aids & Sexually Transmitted Disease Information
1-800-772-2437 (Toll Free)
Family Counselling
Alberta Alcohol & Drug Abuse Commission
Call 310-000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
Alberta Family and Social Services / Child Welfare
Call 310-000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
1-800-638-0715 (After hours)
Child Abuse Hot Line
1-800-387-5437 (24 hours, toll free)
Children's Advocate
1-800-661-3446 (toll free)
Office for the Prevention of Family Violence
Dial 310-0000 and ask for 422-5916. (toll free)
Courts / Police
Court of Queen's Bench
Call 310-000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
Provincial Court
Call 310-000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
Police Services
911 (or look up the correct number in your phone book).
Victim Assistance
Call the police and ask them for the number.
Financial Assistance
Alberta & Family Social Services
Call 310-0000 (toll free) and ask for the number for your area.
Legal Aid
Dial-A-Law
1-800-332-1091 (toll free)
Calgary
#1100, 665 - 8th Street S.W., Calgary, AB T2P 3K7
Tel: 297-2260 Fax: 297-2232
Edmonton
300, 10320 - 102 Ave., Edmonton, AB T5J 4A1
Tel: 427-7575 Fax: 427-5909
Fort McMurray
717, 9915 Franklin Ave., Fort McMurray, AB T9H 2K4
Tel: 743-7356 Fax: 790-9442
Grande Prairie
1301 Prov. Building
10320 - 99 St., Grande Prairie, AB T8V 6J4
Tel: 538-5470 Fax: 538-2520
Lethbridge
1102 Lethbridge Centre Tower
400 - 5th Ave. S., Lethbridge, AB T1J 4E1
Tel: 381-5194 Fax: 382-4460
Medicine Hat
304 Provincial Building,
346 - 3 St. S.E., Medicine Hat, AB T1A 0G6
Tel: 529-3553 Fax: 529-3797
Peace River
Provincial Building, 9621 - 96 Ave.
Box 6, Bag 900, Peace River, AB T8S 1T4
Tel: 624-6250 Fax: 624-3353
Red Deer
Room 604, Provincial Building
4920 - 51 St., Red Deer, AB T4N 6K8
Tel: 340-5119 Fax: 340-4873
St. Paul
4902 - 50 St., P.O. Box 121, St. Paul, AB T0A 3A0
Tel: 645-6205 Fax: 645-4222
Wetaskiwin
Main Floor Provincial Building
5201 - 50 Ave., Wetaskiwin, AB T29 0S7
Tel: 352-7011 (local calls only) Tel: 361-1331 (outside calls)
Fax: 352-4700
Whitecourt
2nd Floor Provincial Building
5020 - 52 Ave., Whitecourt, AB T7S 1N2
Tel: 778-7178 Fax: 778-7253
